Meg and I had a conversation this evening about racing thoughts, fast movements, and catching ourselves not being present during every day tasks. The conversation reminded me of the above journal entry I wrote a few months back. 2017 was still so fresh that I was still accidentally dating 2016.
A lot has changed since this entry. I’m more present even though I still have to ask myself “why am I racing?” every now and then. I got the e-mail I was waiting for and am now working towards one plan – a plan that seems like it is, and always was, the only plan. I took my vitamins consistently for a little while after writing this. The sentence “…So I didn’t have to be alone without my thoughts” was a pivotal realisation for me, and I later took this entry with me into therapy. I value my rapid-fire, fast-paced, never-ending conversation with myself, and I haven’t lost that, but I’ve since found a centre and a stillness that both my mind and the heart on my sleeve thank me for (in both small ways and colossal ways).
It’s important to revisit and recognise growth. We are halfway through April.